When is a Peaceful Protester Worse Than a Woman Beater?

Did you know that the Cincinnati Bengals drafted a player who was videotaped punching a woman and breaking her jaw? Where were all of the social media posts protesting this move? There was little outcry about the injustice done to women around the world by the NFL. I didn't see large groups of people threatening to boycott the Bengals for drafting Joe Mixon (that's his name, by the way). Social media was very quiet before, during and after the draft.

Meanwhile, let's go back to 2016. A pro football player decided to take a knee during the National Anthem in protest for the way African-Americans are treated by police. Many Americans viewed his protest as anti-patriotic and a slap in the face (figuratively) to those men and women who have served in the military. There were a lot of folks who said Colin Kaepernick didn't deserve to live in America anymore, much less play in the NFL.

What's wrong with this picture? Where is the righteous indignation from Americans about Mixon being given a job with the NFL and Kaepernick is still looking for work? I don't claim to be the smartest man in the world, but I feel pretty confident that we should be more upset about a man who brutally beats a woman versus a man who holds a silent protest by kneeling during the National Anthem.

Do I think someone is wrong for being against someone who protests? Absolutely not. I just think we need to spend a little more time thinking before we start firing off the posts and jumping on the bandwagon. If you think Kaepernick doesn't deserve to play on a pro football team because of his beliefs, you should be just as vocal about the NFL employing players who are women beaters, drug abusers and general law breakers. You can't do one without the other.

Use of the N-word in Today's Society

WARNING: Contains language that some would find offensive.

Monday night, a Florida state senator from Miami was accused of using the n-word to a pair of African-American colleagues at a members-only club. Ironically, Senator Frank Artiles wasn't accused of calling the African-Americans "niggers." He was referring to six members of the Republican Party in Florida, who have no elected African-Americans. For those of you keeping score at home, this means a white politician used the n-word to characterize six white elected officials. To make the story even more interesting, Artiles defended his actions by saying he didn't call them "niggers," but "niggas." In some circles, the use of "nigga" is not out of hate or racism, but out of friendship or family. My worst fear has come true: our justification for the "positive" use of the word has come back to bite us in the ass.

This senator shows us the danger of allowing a word that contains such anger and hatred, to be repackaged and used again. In the heat of the moment, we don't hear the subtleties between saying nigger versus nigga. Through music (especially rap and hip-hop), comedians, and movies, use of the n-word has become chic. Because of this, America's youth are using the word with alarming frequency. Over the last six years, I have been dealing with teenagers on a daily basis. I can't tell you how many times I have heard students use the word in my presence. On a handful of occasions, I've even had students call me both a nigger and a nigga. This has come from both white and black students. As a teacher, I don't have the time to determine what the intent was behind the use of the word. There are certain words that make your ears perk up when you hear it. The n-word is one of those words that make people pay attention.

When you look at other cultures and races, there is no talk of transforming a derogatory term into a positive by slightly changing it. Hispanics aren't walking around calling each other "spics" and expecting other races to stop using it at the same time. Orientals don't ask us to accept them calling each other "chinks." Nor have I noticed Middle Easterns calling themselves "towel heads" while being mad at the world when others do it. As African-Americans, we need to recognize we can't have it both ways. This word still carries a lot of pain for those of us who have been called it in a derogatory way. While I might be able to tell the difference when someone tries to say nigga, the word has no place in public settings like school, church and work.

So I say to Senator Artiles, you were wrong for being so obscene to your colleagues. Just because your circle of friends like to say nigga or nigger, doesn't mean that everyone else does. You did the right thing by resigning from your position. On a personal note, I have never written the n-word more times than I have in this post. I needed to put it on paper in it's literal form so we can all see it for what it is. The word is destructive and devisive to everyone involved. Every single time you say "nigger" or "nigga," you're telling someone that you hate. Maybe you hate African-Americans and this word accurately expresses your feelings. Maybe you hate whites and saying "nigga" is your way of getting back at them. Or just maybe, you truly believe it's a word that has lost it's power over the years. No matter your reason for using it, I would challenge you to use something else. I am not anyone's nigger or nigga.

The One-and-Done Needs to be Over-and-Done

Another successful season for John Calipari, right? Depends on who you talk to and what the expectation is. Under any other circumstance, an Elite Eight appearance for a team with three freshmen starters would be a huge success. Why? Because we could look at the team and see four returning starters with over 150 games under their belt at the college level. To see this team as a huge favorite next year to win the championship would be an understatement. Unfortunately, we are living in the era of the one-and-done so our four starters have all declared for the NBA Draft. For this reason, I see the need to change what UK is doing and act more like a traditional team. John Calipari needs to take his circus act out of town if he can't see we won't have another championship team anytime soon.

Calipari handles his team like it's all or nothing every year. He is a master recruiter and sells these McDonald's All-Americans on the dream of playing college basketball with the most visible team in the nation for a year and going on to be a NBA lottery pick. Any team with this level of talent can win most games on it's natural ability alone. Coach Cal can look at the Big Blue Nation and show them a winning percentage of over 80 percent. There are few teams that can boast success like that. But, when you are promising titles in exchange for the support of your system, you better produce.

What is even more sad about this system is Calipari's apparent need to accumulate McDonald's All-Americans at all costs. When you look over his rosters for the last nine years, you see that very few of his players last the full four years with Kentucky. He looks at these freshman as if they are only good to him for a year and then they're either put on the bench or they transfer. The Harrison twins were not ready for the NBA as sophomores. Neither were lottery picks and one of them isn't even in the NBA anymore. Question...what does a starting junior have that a freshman doesn't? About 60 more college games under his belt.

Under the current system, Calipari has no room for returning starters. That forces the freshmen to make a hard decision when the season ends. Do I enter the draft and take my chances or do I stay with Kentucky and hope Calipari has a rough recruiting year. This year, there are two players that are making the jump to the NBA too soon. Issiah Briscoe and Bam Adebayo have declared for the draft (Adebayo has not hired an agent yet so he could return to UK if he wants). Calipari has these young men believing that their only option is to make the jump because there won't be room for them next season due to the next one-and-done class.

When you create this type of environment, your team's Achilles Heel will always be lack of experience. Look at this year's Final Four and all of the teams had a lot of tournament experience. When a team has "been there before," they know how to win under different scenarios. There was a stretch during the middle of the season when UK couldn't hold a lead. That was all inexperience and a lack of team cohesion. Imagine if we had Adebayo and Briscoe come back next year. Those two would have experience that could turn an Elite Eight team into a champion.

Another reason to hate the one-and-done system is the joke it makes of the college experience. There are no other students on a Division I campus that have no intention of getting an education. The motivation to go to class is solely based on staying eligible to play basketball for a year. What no one wants to discuss is the potential for academic fraud due to the school, the team and the player knowing the student/athlete will likely not be there next year.

We need to be honest with ourselves. The school uses these kids for their athletic prowess and could care less if they graduate or not. Coach Cal doesn't care because he has made it plenty clear they aren't supposed to be there more than a year. Most importantly, the player is only there because they can't go straight into the NBA. These one-and-done programs are promoting nothing more than a farm system. The schools are making millions off the kids so they don't mind and the kids are looking for the big payday so some coaches are willing to put up with the instability this style of playing causes.

No one plays the one-and-done like John Calipari. He shows little desire to keep these young men on the team in a vital role if they don't have the goal of going to the NBA after their freshman year. This is bad for the school, the team and the player. Everyone involved has sold their soul to the devil in order to get what they want. If the player doesn't make it to the NBA in the first year, he loses. If the team doesn't win the championship, the school and the team loses because there is no next year. We have to rebuild and start over every year. The constant rebuilding is getting old and will, ultimately, do Calipari in if he doesn't hang another banner soon.

Greatest Sports Moments in Your History

Last week was the 55th anniversary of the night Wilt Chamberlain scored 100 points in a single game. I was listening to sports talk radio and one of the hosts asked what single sports moment in history would you want to see live. As I was driving down the road, I started thinking about the question and so many events crossed my mind. What makes a single sports moment so special that you would want to see it? Is it a championship game? Is it a world-record setting event? I racked my brain and I came up with eight sports moments as well as two history-making moments that are timeless.

What is 94-88? If your answer is the score of the 1978 NCAA Championship game between UK and Duke, you would be right. Even though I was only nine years old when this game was played, that score has remained in my brain permanently. Maybe it's because this was the first championship for UK during my lifetime.

On September 11, 1984, Pete Rose got his 4,192nd hit and broke Ty Cobb's all-time hit record. I remember watching the game on TV and getting chills as he slapped that hit into left-center field. Imagine sitting on the first base side of the field and watching Rose break down as he hugged his son in celebration.

When someone mentions the Slam Dunk Competition, the names that immediately come to mind are Michael Jordan and Dominique Wilkins. For me, the most memorable competition is 1986 when a 5-foot-7 Spud Webb shocked the world by defeating Wilkins for the title. I would have loved to be at court side to see how far off the floor he was when he dunked.

Since I already mentioned them, I would have loved to watch the Slam Dunk Competition in 1988 between Jordan and Wilkins. They put on a show that has yet to be duplicated. In case you forgot, that was the year Jordan made his famous dunk from the free throw line. It was one of those moments that will be a part of sports history until someone else tops it.

On September 16, 1988, Tom Browning of the Cincinnati Reds threw a perfect game in front of the home crowd at Riverfront Stadium. Imagine going to the game and feeling the intensity grow with each out of each inning until the last throw and the last out was made.

I remember sitting at work on October 20, 1990, watching the fourth and final game of the World Series. The Cincinnati Reds beat the heavily favored Oakland A's in shocking fashion. The image of Cincinnati first baseman Todd Benzinger catching a pop-up to end the game is still etched in my mind.

It was known as the "flu game." The Chicago Bulls were playing the Utah Jazz for the 1997 NBA Championship. It was Game 5 and Michael Jordan was playing with the flu. Looking a hot mess and totally drained of energy, Jordan mustered up every ounce of strength in him and went on to lead the Bulls to victory by collecting 38 points, 7 rebounds and 8 assists.

What's a list of my favorite sports moments without my alma mater, Western Kentucky University being mentioned. March Madness is my favorite time of the year and that is elevated whenever WKU plays in the tournament. During the 2008 tournament, 12-seed WKU took the 5-seed Drake to overtime before beating them on a last-second, 26-foot shot by Ty Rogers.

On December 1, 1955, Rosa Parks refused to give up her seat on the bus to a white man in Montgomery, Alabama. This simple, but defiant act became one of the most important events during the Civil Rights Movement. I try to imagine the look on the faces of the bus riders, black and white, when this small, 42-year-old black woman refused to give up her seat. To be an eyewitness to this event would have been life-changing.

The words, "I have a dream" took a deeper meaning on August 28, 1963. Martin Luther King, Jr. gave the speech that some have labeled as the top American speech of the 20th century. I would have loved to be in the crowd on that summer day and feel the energy that speech emitted to the world.

So, what's your favorite sports moment? Feel free to leave it here or on my Facebook page.

Black History Month Revisisted

Earlier, I had a conversation with a friend about meme that he posted on Facebook. During that conversation, I said the following:

"As a teacher, I challenge myself daily as to why we do things. I have found that Black History Month is not about "history" as much as it's about shattering the stereotypes that still exist about the African American's role in society. Some folks (Blacks included) think our path to success is measured by a ball, a microphone or a role in a movie. If the month of February doesn't do anything else, I hope it shatters those stereotypes. I have been teaching in Montgomery and Clark County for five years. I have only seen one black male teacher, other than myself. I know there are others out there, but there are few. We need to shine a path and let young black teenagers know that teaching is not just for white folks."


A classic example for the need of Black History Month is the movie, Hidden Figures. It tells the true story of how a group of black female mathematicians were instrumental in the NASA program during the sixties and seventies. I have heard several people ask how a story that important could have gone untold for this long. In case you haven't seen the movie yet, I will avoid divulging any details. I will just say that we may have never seen a man in space without the efforts of at least two of these women. 

We forget that kids (and some adults) need to know they aren't traveling in uncharted waters. I can't tell you the number of times I was the first-ever black male to work for a company or accomplish something at school. Sometimes, all it takes for a person to believe they can do something is knowing that it's been done before. I took it for granted that I only had one black male teacher throughout my entire education. It never crossed my mind to even consider teaching as a good profession until about twenty years ago. It was never suggested to me by friends, family or church leaders. Maybe if I had seen more black men teaching, I would have considered it.

To paraphrase a wise saying, you don't know where you're going until you know where you've been. Children of color need to see themselves in our history. They need to know we are capable of doing anything we set our mind to doing. With our changing demographics, history classes needs to be more inclusive of all races. For those of you that say history is history, I would only say this. The United States of America has only existed for 240 years. Out of those 240 years, classrooms have only been segregated less than three generations. Whether we want to admit it or not, history tends to be taught from the point of view of the oppressor. History books are changing. but it's nice to take a little road trip and get history from a different point of view.

You Can't Go Right and Left at the Same Time

Some of you have asked why my blog is called "When Right is Wrong." When I made the decision to start writing, I became curious as to why people look at the same thing with different points of view. We had just gone through two years of the nastiest presidential election ever. The college basketball season was in full bloom and the fanatics were out in full force. I kept seeing instances of where two groups of people could look at the same thing and see two, totally different sides of it. I wanted to address this as well as other things that cross my mind.

We always want the police to leave us alone when we are doing things we shouldn't. How many times have you said to yourself, "Where's a cop when you need one?" Then, the first (or the millionth) time you are speeding on the interstate, guess who show's up? Now, your thoughts center around why this cop isn't out catching real criminals. 

This past week has been hard on President Trump and his cabinet nominees. To hear him and his supporters, the "fake media" and the "cry baby" liberals are to blame for his nominees having to drop out of contention. One of his nominees is in hot water because he allegedly failed to pay taxes for his immigrant employee for six years. Wait! Isn't this the same group of people who wanted Trump to "build a wall" in order to keep illegal immigrants out? If this had been one of Barack Obama's cabinet nominees, there would have been uprisings.

Sports fans are probably the worst at being impartial. It is a crazy sight to sit next to a hardcore fan when he thinks his team is getting shafted by the referees. I can watch the same game and see a game totally differently. I mean does the increased bloodflow to the fan's brain when they are watching game cause their vision to become altered in some way? To hear them say it, there are no marginal calls. If the calls don't go their way, it must be because the referees don't want their team to win.

The most extreme and controversial example of this is the court's handling of serious crimes. I can't tell you the number of times I've heard friends of mine complain because they have family members who committed crimes while under the influence. They didn't complain because of the family member...they complained because they felt the courts were too harsh on their family member. The ironic tragedy is the same people who beg for mercy for their family members, want the courts to prosecute anyone who commits crimes against them to fullest extent of the law. Folks, we can't have it both ways.

We are living in a time where right is only right when it benefits us. There are justifications made all of the time for why it's okay for you to do something to someone, but it's not okay for the same thing to be done to you. We have truly forgotten the golden rule and how it applies to the circle of life. You can only get out of this world what you put into it. If you continue to live in a spirit that makes it okay for you to do wrong to others, wrong will continue to find its way back to you. Every time you get away with something, someone else is getting away with it too. What we don't realize is that next time, they might get away with doing it to you.

If a Black Man Can Change the Heart of a KKK Member...

I was sitting at home, late one night, watching one of my guilty pleasures: The Steve Harvey Show. There was a black gentleman who talked to members of the Ku Klux Klan (KKK) and, in the process, was able to convince about 200 of them to change their racist ways. As I listened to the story of one white, southern gentleman who was able to repair his relationship with his daughter, I looked hard inside myself for what is destroying us. It isn't ISIS, racism, Donald Trump, or drugs. What's missing is love.

For a long time, the pot has been boiling and now it's spilling over with hate and intolerance. Everyone, from the president down to your next neighbor, is blowing up social media with mean quotes, memes and fake news as a way to express anger to their fellow man. Whether it's the nation's enemies, your political party's enemies or the guy in front of you at the light who won't turn, it seems we are looking for someone to hate.

The art of civility and respect has been lost to a culture that doesn't know how to speak to each other. Instead of having a dialogue with someone you disagree with, we get on Facebook or Twitter and post angry memes or blindly call our "friends" idiots. It is so easy today to turn someone off that you don't agree with. Instead of agreeing to disagree, we block them from our phones and social media to just simply walk away. Whether we want to believe it or not, the next generation is watching and following our lead. When you take away the human element from interaction, you have a society of humans who aren't being...human.

So, what do we do now? How about showing a little care and concern for your fellow man? Most rational thinking human beings want the same thing. A world where our children and grandchildren can thrive and become outstanding individuals. They can't do that if we are stacking the deck against them. We need to teach them how to resolve conflicts without showing hate and disrespect. Also, we need to get off the bully pulpit and stop governing from a position of hatred and fear. Our borders can be protected without the need for condemning other races and religions.

One of God's most important lessons was for us to love each other like we love ourselves. Either we have become very selfish and only love ourselves or we don't know how to love ourselves. There will be death and mayhem because there always has been. This is still one of the most peaceful countries in the world. To believe otherwise and close our borders is foolish and an overreaction. I see memes all the time about how we should focus on our homeless before we take care of refugees. That may be true, but what are you doing about the homeless problem? The streets have always been lined with the homeless, but now it's a problem? If you really want our government to take care of our people, we need to show them how to do it and it starts in your own backyard.

We can be loving and strong at the same time. Some might even say it takes a lot more strength to be loving than it does to be filled with hatred. When you disagree with someone's political or personal beliefs and you don't feel like you can have a dignified conversation with that person, just walk away and DON'T CLICK SEND! If you disagree with how our government is being handled, contact your senator or congressman and remind them when they are up for reelection and let them know you're keeping score. Finally, let's just show some love and respect to each other for a change. If a black man can love and forgive a former Klansman when he asks for it, surely you can show a little love to a friend who voted for the other guy.

Is Political Correctness to Blame for All of This Anger?

Recently, I had a friend send me a post about the Kellyanne Conway, Bowling Green "massacre" flap. There were comments from Trump supporters and detractors. Both sides agreed her remarks were misguided and stupid, but a Facebook argument ensued and people's feelings got hurt. I was astonished at how both sides are still so angry at each other that they fight even when they agree. What the hell is going on with our country?

One of the phrases that kept coming up during the election was politically incorrect. A lot of folks (mostly Republicans) felt like they have been restricted in expressing themselves by the politically correct movement. Borderline racist, sexist and insulting comments started flowing by presidential candidates and their supporters. This prompted anger and hurt feelings which ignited verbal and physical fights.

I am sure both sides are pointing the finger at each other over this. Truth is, we are all to blame for this. First, we allow our feelings to get hurt too easily. It feels like my generation set off the firestorm of everyone "getting a trophy." Whether we deserve it or not, we think the world owes us something. When someone tells us we can't have it or we lose something, we lose our minds.

Second, we have turned political incorrectness into just being rude and insensitive. No matter what you say, there is always a method of saying it without insulting someone. I try to be as upfront with people as possible and I can do that without hurting someone's feelings. It takes a concentrated effort, but it's pretty easy if you talk to everyone with respect.

In October, I will be attending my 30th year class reunion. Truth be told, there is a small part of me that is not looking forward to it because of the political bickering. Some of my Republican classmates are no longer on my Facebook friends list because of the division created by politics. It is a damn shame that people who have known each other since they were kids, cannot find a way to express themselves honestly but considerately.

These conversations have filtered down into my old high school over the students deciding to have a "white trash" theme at a basketball game against a local rival. I was amazed at the exchange that occurred between students and adults about the issue. If having a "white trash" night is okay this week, will a "project chick" day or a "chollo" night be acceptable next week? A large number of the high school students as well as the parents found nothing wrong it.

I can't speak for everyone, but I'm tired of all the anger that exists in this country. We have some issues that need to be worked out, but it needs to be done without all of the rocks being thrown. The name-calling and mud-slinging is not political incorrectness. It is just being rude and insensitive. You can disagree with someone without calling them an idiot or stupid.

We Don't Need Black History Month Anymore?

As an African-American male teacher, February always rings in with a controversial subject. Why do we have Black History Month and do we still need it? Whenever someone asks me why, I immediately offer the standard answer we have been hearing for decades. Black History Month is needed because history has traditionally been taught from a eurocentric perspective. This means that, with the exception of a few prominent minority moments in history, the story is told by white people, about white people and for white people. As the years wear on, this has changed and gotten better, but we still have a ways to go.

For example, our new president has been in the news twice this week for comments directly related to black history. First, his press secretary, Sean Spicer stood up in front of the press and announced President Trump showed his commitment to civil rights by meeting with "Martin Luther King, Jr." last week. Hello? MLK has been dead for 40 years! That's a conversation I'd love to sit in on. Even after the press corp tried to correct him, Spicer glossed over it like it was nothing.

Next, President Trump was in a "listening session" about Black History Month with several African-Americans this week. During the meeting, Trump began to speak about Frederick Douglas in the present tense as if he's still alive! Then, to add insult to injury, Press Secretary Spicer came to his rescue to "confirm" Douglas's active contributions to Black History. So, we have the President of the United States and his press secretary who have no idea that one of the most important figures in Black History is deceased. The next time you ask whether or not we still need Black History, look to your current administration for the answer. If our leaders have no clue then it's safe to say our children don't either.

How Do You Know What God Says or Does?

I grew up in the church. Prior to graduating high school and attending college, my mom made sure I rarely missed Sunday services, choir practice or vacation bible school. As I grew into manhood and developed my own opinions, I started to question life in the church. I never stopped believing in God, but I heard things that made me wonder what people thought about God and how he uses his powers. I see myself as a deep thinker. A man who puts a lot of value in not only what we do, but how we say things. So, there are some things that confound the crap out of me when I hear them.

There are tragedies that occur in this world daily. When you look at the grand scale, you have famine, slavery, genocide, and natural disasters. On a smaller scale, we have traffic fatalities, child abuse, spouse abuse and other individual tragedies. When I hear about someone surviving a tragedy, I usually hear a religious person say something like, "It was God who saved those people." That statement frustrates me because of the opposite end of the spectrum. Is it God's fault when people die or children are abused because He doesn't stop it?

With the Super Bowl coming up, I know we will hear at least one athlete who will proclaim that his great performance or his team's victory was God's doing. Does this mean that God chooses sides in a sporting event or decides which athletes will perform the best? I remember when a baseball player for the Florida Marlins died in a boating accident last year. When his team played after he passed, the leadoff hitter opened the game with a home run. Obviously, this was an emotional event for him and the team. After the game, the player was interviewed and he expressed that God had a hand in helping him hit that home run. What prompts a belief like that?

Some people believe that our lives are scripted by God. Like a gallon of milk, we have an expiration date. George Thompson was born on March 19, 1969 and will die on a date that has already been chosen by God. Does that mean my time on this earth is final no matter what I do? I just found out last year that I have diabetes. Was it already in the plan for me to contract it? What incentive does it give me to live a good life if the details of my life have already been scripted? Am I gonna die at the same time no matter if I go back to drinking eight cans of soda per day or not?

I consider myself a spiritual person, but a very thoughtful person at the same time. Many hours have been spent soul-searching in an attempt to understand why people say some of things that I hear about God and his control over us and what happens in our lives. If you take what some people say at face value, one would think they believe that God arbitrarily steps in and changes the course of human events. I have a hard time with that idea because that means God chooses who lives and who dies. As a parent and father of three children, I could never see myself allowing one child to live over another.

In the Bible, the story of Adam and Eve provides me with a blueprint for how I think God relates to us. Adam and Eve were God's children and He treated them as such when He told them to not eat the apple. He didn't blame the serpent or stop them from eating the apple because he gave them free will to learn from their mistakes. He engaged in tough love (read one my previous posts) and did what we all must do as parents. God had so many opportunities to stop Adam, Eve, Kain and Abel from hurting themselves and each other. He didn't stop them then and I don't feel that he stops us now.

So, why do we say the things we do about God's influence on our lives? I think a huge part of it is designed by church leaders as a way to comfort us in times of sorrow or distress. If you survive a tragedy and are looking for answers as to why, the idea that God pulled you out of the burning building when others died might explain it for you. To simply say, "You got lucky" isn't very comforting nor does it bring you closer to God.

I believe in God and try to live my life in a way that is in line with Christian beliefs. While I disagree with those who do, I don't fault anyone who believes God reaches into our lives and controls the things that happen to us. However, I can't let myself believe that our Heavenly Father controls whether or not millions of slaves or million of Jews die at the hands of their evil captors. Nor do I believe that God cares who wins the Super Bowl on Sunday.  God gives us the free will to do right or wrong to ourselves and others. He wants us to learn from all situations, good or bad. For God to decide who should live or die would be like me deciding which one of my three children should stay on this earth. God gives us life and what we do with it is totally up to us.

Dear Donald Trump

Dear President Trump,


As a 47-year-old, twice-divorced, African-American father of three children, I feel compelled to write you. In full disclosure, I must tell you that I didn't vote for you nor did I want to vote for Clinton. While I accept the fact you won the election, I feel the need to make you aware of my expectations for "the most powerful man in the free world." Before I do this, please allow me the opportunity to explain my feelings about the election.

When the primaries started, I knew there would be a boatload of candidates. What I didn't expect was for you to throw your hat into the ring. I honestly thought it was fluke and wouldn't last long. The shocking part about your campaign was the bravado and gamesmanship you displayed. I thought the personal insults were akin to how Muhammad Ali used to talk about his opponents prior to a boxing match. I felt it was childish and so un-presidential. In my mind, I thought, "No one is going to buy into this crap!" I expected you to start losing primaries and drop out of the race. As we all know, that didn't happen. In fact, the opposite occurred and you started picking up steam.

I am a language arts teacher so I thought it would be a great idea to watch all of the presidential debates with my classes and discuss what we learned from each of them. As an educator, I was very disappointed in the way you conducted yourself in most of the debates. You avoided providing any details of your platform. For instance, all you would say about building the wall is that Mexico was gonna pay for it. You resorted to personal attacks of anyone who opposed you. When your answers were reviewed after the debates, you lied more than you told the truth. I felt like I was watching a used car salesman working the deal. Please don't get it twisted...the students noticed too.

The most disappointing part of your campaign was the continuous deluge of scandals that kept being reported. The bankruptcies, the affairs, the racial and sexually offensive comments were too much to take. Unfortunately, enough people hated Clinton and the establishment that they were willing to accept less than the best there was to offer. You were successful in selling the American people the used car. My question is, "When will the engine blow on it?" 

Without a doubt, the most disappointing aspect of your campaign was the audiotape of your conversation with Billy Bush from Entertainment Tonight. I found your defense of what you said about women to be weak and insincere. How am I supposed to teach my young male students about respect of the opposite sex when the President of the United States cannot do it? It would be one thing if you had been a young man when you made those comments, but you weren't. It was indefensible and should have disqualified you as a candidate. Sadly, I feel like the election was a sad indictment on what we expect from ourselves as well as our children.

Having said all of this, I conclude by saying that I need you to dig deep and understand the world is watching. The doubt, anger and frustration towards your presidency has been caused by your actions thus far. If you want ALL of the American people to take you seriously, we need to see a Donald Trump who doesn't shoot first and ask questions later. I would ask you to spend less time on Twitter and more time reflecting on the job at hand. A good leader needs to have thick skin because no decision you make will draw 100% approval. The one thing I've admired about President Obama is his ability to let criticism roll off of his back. I need you to put some sincere effort in winning over people of color. Your words will fall on deaf ears after some of the things you've already said. The photo opportunities with African-American athletes and entertainers seem fake and less than sincere. Stop insulting everyone who disagrees with you and start reaching out in a sincere effort to learn why they disagree with you.

I wish you the best of luck in your presidency. If you fail, we all fail. Be a bridge between the sides and not a divide.

Sincerely,
George T. Thompson

Why is Tough Love a Foreign Concept?

According to Dr. Paul Schoenfeld, the term "tough love" was in coined in a book, by the same name, in 1968. The idea of tough love is taking a beating around the country. The basic philosophy of it is based on the idea of love and firmness not being mutually exclusive. I have been working exclusively with kids, mostly teenagers, for seven years. The lack of discipline and the ability of adults to apply tough love has never been more apparent as it is now. We are pumping out a generation of coddled, confused and irresponsible children at an alarming rate. All of it is because we are afraid to be tough on our children while loving them at the same time.

What I have found in my dealings with students over the years is they associate discipline with hate. We have become so bad at redirecting our children that they don't know we discipline out of love and not hate. When we discipline, have we set the expectations with our children so they know it is a consequence of their behavior? In today's world, employers conduct new employee orientation so their workers know what's expected and the consequences if they don't. We should do the same with our children. Our role, as parents and educators, is to prepare the next generation for adulthood. Just as the employer practices a rewards and consequences system, so should we.

Teaching, whether it's as a parent or an educator, is a 24/7/365 job. There are no days off, no vacations and no substitutes. Kids don't realize it, but they crave structure and boundaries.  If you don't believe this, watch kids when you change up a routine. My students nearly lose their minds when we have to change the lunch schedule or the recreation schedule. There is such a delicate balance between routine and independence for children, especially teenagers. I hear parents complain about how much energy and time it takes to enforce discipline on their children. You take away their phones and XBOX, then all you hear is them whine about having nothing to do. That is when you stand firm and reinforce the idea that bad actions come with consequences. If you give in, they learn you will relent if they whine and moan enough.

Does the concept of tough love apply to "good kids?" Yes, it does. There isn't a child in this world who won't test limits. Even a straight A student, needs you to put them back in play sometimes. There is a happy medium between raising "free-range children" and being a "helicopter" mom or dad. We can't afford to be our children's friend. They need an authority figure to raise them. Show me a child that has never been mad at his or her parent and I'll show you a parent that is not doing his or her job.

I have seen dozens of kids whose parents have failed to be tough before it was too late. Children who are allowed to be disrespectful, skip school, get bad grades and drink or smoke weed, turn into students who end up in the court system for assault, felony drug use/sales, pregnant or worse, dead.  Even if we don't allow it, the odds are decent our children will occasionally get involved in some of these activities. That's the excuse some parents use to justify not being tough on their kids. No matter what the excuse, we have to set expectations and follow through with consequences when they fail to meet them. The best case scenario is you have to take your child's IPhone when they break curfew. The worse case scenario is you don't bond your child out of jail immediately when they get busted for using drugs. Let your child hate you in the moment so they can love you forever as adults.

Success Only Comes to Those Who Pursue It

As a teacher and a father, I find myself asking some pretty deep questions. One of those questions is "When did we lower the standards for our children?" I am amazed at how little we expect from ourselves and children. While I was in college at Western Kentucky University back in the late 80's and early 90's, I was having a conversation with some good friends of mine. Out of nowhere, a friend said, "Success only comes to those who pursue it." Those eight words have stuck with me for nearly thirty years. As I reflect back on those words, I realize we aren't teaching kids how to pursue success.


I talk to my students almost daily about the idea that my job is not to give them the answer, but to help them FIND the answer. The reason I emphasize this is because we have a moral and ethical responsibility to teach our kids to be the best, self-sufficient adults they can be. We can't do that when we constantly walk in front of them and clear the path. We need to walk behind them and pick them up when they fall, because success doesn't come without failure. In our attempts to protect children, we have taken away the single-most important lesson in life: how to rise up from adversity.

I remember when I used to play sports as a child in a small town. The local newspaper published every score of every game (probably because they had little else to cover). I don't remember us getting "participation trophies" just for showing up. The scores mattered because we were taught to be competitive. Life is competitive and kids need to know how to thrive in it. There are winners and losers in life and we can't shelter children from this fact. We need to help them become winners and learn from the defeats.

During a conversation with a former colleague of mine, the subject of parental expectations came up. I heard this parent, who is also a teacher, say that her expectation of her teenage daughter is for her to not end up pregnant. It was that moment when I thought, "Have we really lowered our expectations so much that NOT becoming pregnant while in school is the sign of success for us as parents?"
My belief is that kids will usually give us what we want and no more. If I tell a class they need to do a three-page report, they will give me almost exactly three pages or less. I might have a few do more, but they are the exception. If I'm comfortable with that conclusion, why not ask more of my students instead of less? What I've noticed is that we are setting the bar way too low in EVERYTHING.

What can we do immediately to encourage our kids to succeed? First, we need to talk to our children, at school and at home, about what will make them successful. We need to help them set goals and monitor them. Second, don't be afraid of your children failing at something. Don't give them everything they ask for. Sometimes, we should encourage our kids to work for something. Isn't that what you do in the "real world?" Last, we need to simply ask for more from our kids. If you have been telling your kids that passing their classes is good enough, be more specific. Encourage them to get B's and C's instead. Teachers...when a student asks you what time class is over, ask them if there is a way for them to find that out without asking you. I bet they have their schedule right in front of them as well as a clock. That may sound simplistic, but you're creating an environment of self-reliance. We all want the best for our kids and now we need to start asking for it. Remember: Success only comes to those who pursue it.

When Right is Wrong

Many years ago, I used to listen to The Jim Rome Show. If you aren't familiar with who he is, Rome is a sports talk show host who was a borderline shock jock. One day, when talking about Major League Baseball, he said "If you aren't cheating, you aren't trying. And it's only cheating if you get caught." On the surface, that sounds pretty harsh. However, isn't that the mentality of most people when it comes to getting ahead?

Most non-Duke fans were incensed when Grayson Allen attempted to trip a basketball player that got by him during a game. What made the fans even madder was the idea that Coach K only suspended him for one game. To hear Kentucky fans talk about it, Coach K is the devil (no pun intended) who is single-handedly destroying college basketball. Allen's actions were immature and wrong, but did they warrant such hatred from college basketball fans?

Meanwhile, those same Kentucky fans who choose to vilify Coach K and his players, seem to be okay with the cheating allegations that have plagued John Calipari. Coach Cal has been found guilty of NCAA violations at every school he coached prior to getting the Kentucky job. His players have been guilty of larger infractions such as taking money from agents, cheating on college entrance exams and allowing player's family to travel with the team for free. His transgressions have cost schools NCAA sanctions and vacated victories. In fact, Calipari is the only coach to have victories vacated at more than one school. I guess Kentucky fans see tripping as a much bigger offense.

Now, before all of the Big Blue Nation rains down upon me, let me explain my point. I believe most of us have good hearts with the ability to separate right from wrong. Unfortunately, there are times when we throw all sense of ethics out the window. The word "fan" is short for fanatics. Die hard fans have a deep obsession with their team. All they want is for their team to win. That desire will cause fans to see things differently than most of us. A foul is only a foul when the other team commits it. The fix is only in when it keeps our team from winning.

The spirit of fairness holds true in the legal world as well. How times do we complain when the police give us a speeding ticket, but scream in frustration when they aren't there to catch that speed demon who's weaving in and out of traffic? We can't stand defense attorneys and their ability to manipulate the law in order to get shady individuals off UNTIL we need them to defend us. We scream out for the law to be fair and equitable, but is that really what we want? Maybe what we really want is for the law to work in our favor, whether we are right or wrong.

Sports are fun, but they are also a mirror of society. Morality and ethical lines have been skewed. Whether it's sports, politics, education or the work place, we have forgotten the need to call a spade a spade. If it's wrong, it's wrong. When we venture into situational ethics, no one wins. Most things that are gained unethically, won't last long. So cheer for your favorite team and have fun doing it, but don't lower your values in order to justify a win.