I grew up in the church. Prior to graduating high school and attending college, my mom made sure I rarely missed Sunday services, choir practice or vacation bible school. As I grew into manhood and developed my own opinions, I started to question life in the church. I never stopped believing in God, but I heard things that made me wonder what people thought about God and how he uses his powers. I see myself as a deep thinker. A man who puts a lot of value in not only what we do, but how we say things. So, there are some things that confound the crap out of me when I hear them.
There are tragedies that occur in this world daily. When you look at the grand scale, you have famine, slavery, genocide, and natural disasters. On a smaller scale, we have traffic fatalities, child abuse, spouse abuse and other individual tragedies. When I hear about someone surviving a tragedy, I usually hear a religious person say something like, "It was God who saved those people." That statement frustrates me because of the opposite end of the spectrum. Is it God's fault when people die or children are abused because He doesn't stop it?
With the Super Bowl coming up, I know we will hear at least one athlete who will proclaim that his great performance or his team's victory was God's doing. Does this mean that God chooses sides in a sporting event or decides which athletes will perform the best? I remember when a baseball player for the Florida Marlins died in a boating accident last year. When his team played after he passed, the leadoff hitter opened the game with a home run. Obviously, this was an emotional event for him and the team. After the game, the player was interviewed and he expressed that God had a hand in helping him hit that home run. What prompts a belief like that?
Some people believe that our lives are scripted by God. Like a gallon of milk, we have an expiration date. George Thompson was born on March 19, 1969 and will die on a date that has already been chosen by God. Does that mean my time on this earth is final no matter what I do? I just found out last year that I have diabetes. Was it already in the plan for me to contract it? What incentive does it give me to live a good life if the details of my life have already been scripted? Am I gonna die at the same time no matter if I go back to drinking eight cans of soda per day or not?
I consider myself a spiritual person, but a very thoughtful person at the same time. Many hours have been spent soul-searching in an attempt to understand why people say some of things that I hear about God and his control over us and what happens in our lives. If you take what some people say at face value, one would think they believe that God arbitrarily steps in and changes the course of human events. I have a hard time with that idea because that means God chooses who lives and who dies. As a parent and father of three children, I could never see myself allowing one child to live over another.
In the Bible, the story of Adam and Eve provides me with a blueprint for how I think God relates to us. Adam and Eve were God's children and He treated them as such when He told them to not eat the apple. He didn't blame the serpent or stop them from eating the apple because he gave them free will to learn from their mistakes. He engaged in tough love (read one my previous posts) and did what we all must do as parents. God had so many opportunities to stop Adam, Eve, Kain and Abel from hurting themselves and each other. He didn't stop them then and I don't feel that he stops us now.
So, why do we say the things we do about God's influence on our lives? I think a huge part of it is designed by church leaders as a way to comfort us in times of sorrow or distress. If you survive a tragedy and are looking for answers as to why, the idea that God pulled you out of the burning building when others died might explain it for you. To simply say, "You got lucky" isn't very comforting nor does it bring you closer to God.
I believe in God and try to live my life in a way that is in line with Christian beliefs. While I disagree with those who do, I don't fault anyone who believes God reaches into our lives and controls the things that happen to us. However, I can't let myself believe that our Heavenly Father controls whether or not millions of slaves or million of Jews die at the hands of their evil captors. Nor do I believe that God cares who wins the Super Bowl on Sunday. God gives us the free will to do right or wrong to ourselves and others. He wants us to learn from all situations, good or bad. For God to decide who should live or die would be like me deciding which one of my three children should stay on this earth. God gives us life and what we do with it is totally up to us.
Sunday, January 29, 2017
Thursday, January 19, 2017
Dear Donald Trump
Dear President Trump,
As a 47-year-old, twice-divorced, African-American father of three children, I feel compelled to write you. In full disclosure, I must tell you that I didn't vote for you nor did I want to vote for Clinton. While I accept the fact you won the election, I feel the need to make you aware of my expectations for "the most powerful man in the free world." Before I do this, please allow me the opportunity to explain my feelings about the election.
When the primaries started, I knew there would be a boatload of candidates. What I didn't expect was for you to throw your hat into the ring. I honestly thought it was fluke and wouldn't last long. The shocking part about your campaign was the bravado and gamesmanship you displayed. I thought the personal insults were akin to how Muhammad Ali used to talk about his opponents prior to a boxing match. I felt it was childish and so un-presidential. In my mind, I thought, "No one is going to buy into this crap!" I expected you to start losing primaries and drop out of the race. As we all know, that didn't happen. In fact, the opposite occurred and you started picking up steam.
I am a language arts teacher so I thought it would be a great idea to watch all of the presidential debates with my classes and discuss what we learned from each of them. As an educator, I was very disappointed in the way you conducted yourself in most of the debates. You avoided providing any details of your platform. For instance, all you would say about building the wall is that Mexico was gonna pay for it. You resorted to personal attacks of anyone who opposed you. When your answers were reviewed after the debates, you lied more than you told the truth. I felt like I was watching a used car salesman working the deal. Please don't get it twisted...the students noticed too.
The most disappointing part of your campaign was the continuous deluge of scandals that kept being reported. The bankruptcies, the affairs, the racial and sexually offensive comments were too much to take. Unfortunately, enough people hated Clinton and the establishment that they were willing to accept less than the best there was to offer. You were successful in selling the American people the used car. My question is, "When will the engine blow on it?"
Without a doubt, the most disappointing aspect of your campaign was the audiotape of your conversation with Billy Bush from Entertainment Tonight. I found your defense of what you said about women to be weak and insincere. How am I supposed to teach my young male students about respect of the opposite sex when the President of the United States cannot do it? It would be one thing if you had been a young man when you made those comments, but you weren't. It was indefensible and should have disqualified you as a candidate. Sadly, I feel like the election was a sad indictment on what we expect from ourselves as well as our children.
Having said all of this, I conclude by saying that I need you to dig deep and understand the world is watching. The doubt, anger and frustration towards your presidency has been caused by your actions thus far. If you want ALL of the American people to take you seriously, we need to see a Donald Trump who doesn't shoot first and ask questions later. I would ask you to spend less time on Twitter and more time reflecting on the job at hand. A good leader needs to have thick skin because no decision you make will draw 100% approval. The one thing I've admired about President Obama is his ability to let criticism roll off of his back. I need you to put some sincere effort in winning over people of color. Your words will fall on deaf ears after some of the things you've already said. The photo opportunities with African-American athletes and entertainers seem fake and less than sincere. Stop insulting everyone who disagrees with you and start reaching out in a sincere effort to learn why they disagree with you.
I wish you the best of luck in your presidency. If you fail, we all fail. Be a bridge between the sides and not a divide.
Sincerely,
George T. Thompson
As a 47-year-old, twice-divorced, African-American father of three children, I feel compelled to write you. In full disclosure, I must tell you that I didn't vote for you nor did I want to vote for Clinton. While I accept the fact you won the election, I feel the need to make you aware of my expectations for "the most powerful man in the free world." Before I do this, please allow me the opportunity to explain my feelings about the election.
When the primaries started, I knew there would be a boatload of candidates. What I didn't expect was for you to throw your hat into the ring. I honestly thought it was fluke and wouldn't last long. The shocking part about your campaign was the bravado and gamesmanship you displayed. I thought the personal insults were akin to how Muhammad Ali used to talk about his opponents prior to a boxing match. I felt it was childish and so un-presidential. In my mind, I thought, "No one is going to buy into this crap!" I expected you to start losing primaries and drop out of the race. As we all know, that didn't happen. In fact, the opposite occurred and you started picking up steam.
I am a language arts teacher so I thought it would be a great idea to watch all of the presidential debates with my classes and discuss what we learned from each of them. As an educator, I was very disappointed in the way you conducted yourself in most of the debates. You avoided providing any details of your platform. For instance, all you would say about building the wall is that Mexico was gonna pay for it. You resorted to personal attacks of anyone who opposed you. When your answers were reviewed after the debates, you lied more than you told the truth. I felt like I was watching a used car salesman working the deal. Please don't get it twisted...the students noticed too.
The most disappointing part of your campaign was the continuous deluge of scandals that kept being reported. The bankruptcies, the affairs, the racial and sexually offensive comments were too much to take. Unfortunately, enough people hated Clinton and the establishment that they were willing to accept less than the best there was to offer. You were successful in selling the American people the used car. My question is, "When will the engine blow on it?"
Without a doubt, the most disappointing aspect of your campaign was the audiotape of your conversation with Billy Bush from Entertainment Tonight. I found your defense of what you said about women to be weak and insincere. How am I supposed to teach my young male students about respect of the opposite sex when the President of the United States cannot do it? It would be one thing if you had been a young man when you made those comments, but you weren't. It was indefensible and should have disqualified you as a candidate. Sadly, I feel like the election was a sad indictment on what we expect from ourselves as well as our children.
Having said all of this, I conclude by saying that I need you to dig deep and understand the world is watching. The doubt, anger and frustration towards your presidency has been caused by your actions thus far. If you want ALL of the American people to take you seriously, we need to see a Donald Trump who doesn't shoot first and ask questions later. I would ask you to spend less time on Twitter and more time reflecting on the job at hand. A good leader needs to have thick skin because no decision you make will draw 100% approval. The one thing I've admired about President Obama is his ability to let criticism roll off of his back. I need you to put some sincere effort in winning over people of color. Your words will fall on deaf ears after some of the things you've already said. The photo opportunities with African-American athletes and entertainers seem fake and less than sincere. Stop insulting everyone who disagrees with you and start reaching out in a sincere effort to learn why they disagree with you.
I wish you the best of luck in your presidency. If you fail, we all fail. Be a bridge between the sides and not a divide.
Sincerely,
George T. Thompson
Monday, January 16, 2017
Why is Tough Love a Foreign Concept?
According to Dr. Paul Schoenfeld, the term "tough love" was in coined in a book, by the same name, in 1968. The idea of tough love is taking a beating around the country. The basic philosophy of it is based on the idea of love and firmness not being mutually exclusive. I have been working exclusively with kids, mostly teenagers, for seven years. The lack of discipline and the ability of adults to apply tough love has never been more apparent as it is now. We are pumping out a generation of coddled, confused and irresponsible children at an alarming rate. All of it is because we are afraid to be tough on our children while loving them at the same time.
What I have found in my dealings with students over the years is they associate discipline with hate. We have become so bad at redirecting our children that they don't know we discipline out of love and not hate. When we discipline, have we set the expectations with our children so they know it is a consequence of their behavior? In today's world, employers conduct new employee orientation so their workers know what's expected and the consequences if they don't. We should do the same with our children. Our role, as parents and educators, is to prepare the next generation for adulthood. Just as the employer practices a rewards and consequences system, so should we.
Teaching, whether it's as a parent or an educator, is a 24/7/365 job. There are no days off, no vacations and no substitutes. Kids don't realize it, but they crave structure and boundaries. If you don't believe this, watch kids when you change up a routine. My students nearly lose their minds when we have to change the lunch schedule or the recreation schedule. There is such a delicate balance between routine and independence for children, especially teenagers. I hear parents complain about how much energy and time it takes to enforce discipline on their children. You take away their phones and XBOX, then all you hear is them whine about having nothing to do. That is when you stand firm and reinforce the idea that bad actions come with consequences. If you give in, they learn you will relent if they whine and moan enough.
Does the concept of tough love apply to "good kids?" Yes, it does. There isn't a child in this world who won't test limits. Even a straight A student, needs you to put them back in play sometimes. There is a happy medium between raising "free-range children" and being a "helicopter" mom or dad. We can't afford to be our children's friend. They need an authority figure to raise them. Show me a child that has never been mad at his or her parent and I'll show you a parent that is not doing his or her job.
I have seen dozens of kids whose parents have failed to be tough before it was too late. Children who are allowed to be disrespectful, skip school, get bad grades and drink or smoke weed, turn into students who end up in the court system for assault, felony drug use/sales, pregnant or worse, dead. Even if we don't allow it, the odds are decent our children will occasionally get involved in some of these activities. That's the excuse some parents use to justify not being tough on their kids. No matter what the excuse, we have to set expectations and follow through with consequences when they fail to meet them. The best case scenario is you have to take your child's IPhone when they break curfew. The worse case scenario is you don't bond your child out of jail immediately when they get busted for using drugs. Let your child hate you in the moment so they can love you forever as adults.
What I have found in my dealings with students over the years is they associate discipline with hate. We have become so bad at redirecting our children that they don't know we discipline out of love and not hate. When we discipline, have we set the expectations with our children so they know it is a consequence of their behavior? In today's world, employers conduct new employee orientation so their workers know what's expected and the consequences if they don't. We should do the same with our children. Our role, as parents and educators, is to prepare the next generation for adulthood. Just as the employer practices a rewards and consequences system, so should we.
Teaching, whether it's as a parent or an educator, is a 24/7/365 job. There are no days off, no vacations and no substitutes. Kids don't realize it, but they crave structure and boundaries. If you don't believe this, watch kids when you change up a routine. My students nearly lose their minds when we have to change the lunch schedule or the recreation schedule. There is such a delicate balance between routine and independence for children, especially teenagers. I hear parents complain about how much energy and time it takes to enforce discipline on their children. You take away their phones and XBOX, then all you hear is them whine about having nothing to do. That is when you stand firm and reinforce the idea that bad actions come with consequences. If you give in, they learn you will relent if they whine and moan enough.
Does the concept of tough love apply to "good kids?" Yes, it does. There isn't a child in this world who won't test limits. Even a straight A student, needs you to put them back in play sometimes. There is a happy medium between raising "free-range children" and being a "helicopter" mom or dad. We can't afford to be our children's friend. They need an authority figure to raise them. Show me a child that has never been mad at his or her parent and I'll show you a parent that is not doing his or her job.
I have seen dozens of kids whose parents have failed to be tough before it was too late. Children who are allowed to be disrespectful, skip school, get bad grades and drink or smoke weed, turn into students who end up in the court system for assault, felony drug use/sales, pregnant or worse, dead. Even if we don't allow it, the odds are decent our children will occasionally get involved in some of these activities. That's the excuse some parents use to justify not being tough on their kids. No matter what the excuse, we have to set expectations and follow through with consequences when they fail to meet them. The best case scenario is you have to take your child's IPhone when they break curfew. The worse case scenario is you don't bond your child out of jail immediately when they get busted for using drugs. Let your child hate you in the moment so they can love you forever as adults.
Wednesday, January 11, 2017
Success Only Comes to Those Who Pursue It
As a teacher and a father, I find myself asking some pretty deep questions. One of those questions is "When did we lower the standards for our children?" I am amazed at how little we expect from ourselves and children. While I was in college at Western Kentucky University back in the late 80's and early 90's, I was having a conversation with some good friends of mine. Out of nowhere, a friend said, "Success only comes to those who pursue it." Those eight words have stuck with me for nearly thirty years. As I reflect back on those words, I realize we aren't teaching kids how to pursue success.
I talk to my students almost daily about the idea that my job is not to give them the answer, but to help them FIND the answer. The reason I emphasize this is because we have a moral and ethical responsibility to teach our kids to be the best, self-sufficient adults they can be. We can't do that when we constantly walk in front of them and clear the path. We need to walk behind them and pick them up when they fall, because success doesn't come without failure. In our attempts to protect children, we have taken away the single-most important lesson in life: how to rise up from adversity.
I remember when I used to play sports as a child in a small town. The local newspaper published every score of every game (probably because they had little else to cover). I don't remember us getting "participation trophies" just for showing up. The scores mattered because we were taught to be competitive. Life is competitive and kids need to know how to thrive in it. There are winners and losers in life and we can't shelter children from this fact. We need to help them become winners and learn from the defeats.
During a conversation with a former colleague of mine, the subject of parental expectations came up. I heard this parent, who is also a teacher, say that her expectation of her teenage daughter is for her to not end up pregnant. It was that moment when I thought, "Have we really lowered our expectations so much that NOT becoming pregnant while in school is the sign of success for us as parents?"
My belief is that kids will usually give us what we want and no more. If I tell a class they need to do a three-page report, they will give me almost exactly three pages or less. I might have a few do more, but they are the exception. If I'm comfortable with that conclusion, why not ask more of my students instead of less? What I've noticed is that we are setting the bar way too low in EVERYTHING.
What can we do immediately to encourage our kids to succeed? First, we need to talk to our children, at school and at home, about what will make them successful. We need to help them set goals and monitor them. Second, don't be afraid of your children failing at something. Don't give them everything they ask for. Sometimes, we should encourage our kids to work for something. Isn't that what you do in the "real world?" Last, we need to simply ask for more from our kids. If you have been telling your kids that passing their classes is good enough, be more specific. Encourage them to get B's and C's instead. Teachers...when a student asks you what time class is over, ask them if there is a way for them to find that out without asking you. I bet they have their schedule right in front of them as well as a clock. That may sound simplistic, but you're creating an environment of self-reliance. We all want the best for our kids and now we need to start asking for it. Remember: Success only comes to those who pursue it.
I talk to my students almost daily about the idea that my job is not to give them the answer, but to help them FIND the answer. The reason I emphasize this is because we have a moral and ethical responsibility to teach our kids to be the best, self-sufficient adults they can be. We can't do that when we constantly walk in front of them and clear the path. We need to walk behind them and pick them up when they fall, because success doesn't come without failure. In our attempts to protect children, we have taken away the single-most important lesson in life: how to rise up from adversity.
I remember when I used to play sports as a child in a small town. The local newspaper published every score of every game (probably because they had little else to cover). I don't remember us getting "participation trophies" just for showing up. The scores mattered because we were taught to be competitive. Life is competitive and kids need to know how to thrive in it. There are winners and losers in life and we can't shelter children from this fact. We need to help them become winners and learn from the defeats.
During a conversation with a former colleague of mine, the subject of parental expectations came up. I heard this parent, who is also a teacher, say that her expectation of her teenage daughter is for her to not end up pregnant. It was that moment when I thought, "Have we really lowered our expectations so much that NOT becoming pregnant while in school is the sign of success for us as parents?"
My belief is that kids will usually give us what we want and no more. If I tell a class they need to do a three-page report, they will give me almost exactly three pages or less. I might have a few do more, but they are the exception. If I'm comfortable with that conclusion, why not ask more of my students instead of less? What I've noticed is that we are setting the bar way too low in EVERYTHING.
What can we do immediately to encourage our kids to succeed? First, we need to talk to our children, at school and at home, about what will make them successful. We need to help them set goals and monitor them. Second, don't be afraid of your children failing at something. Don't give them everything they ask for. Sometimes, we should encourage our kids to work for something. Isn't that what you do in the "real world?" Last, we need to simply ask for more from our kids. If you have been telling your kids that passing their classes is good enough, be more specific. Encourage them to get B's and C's instead. Teachers...when a student asks you what time class is over, ask them if there is a way for them to find that out without asking you. I bet they have their schedule right in front of them as well as a clock. That may sound simplistic, but you're creating an environment of self-reliance. We all want the best for our kids and now we need to start asking for it. Remember: Success only comes to those who pursue it.
Monday, January 9, 2017
When Right is Wrong
Many years ago, I used to listen to The Jim Rome Show. If you aren't familiar with who he is, Rome is a sports talk show host who was a borderline shock jock. One day, when talking about Major League Baseball, he said "If you aren't cheating, you aren't trying. And it's only cheating if you get caught." On the surface, that sounds pretty harsh. However, isn't that the mentality of most people when it comes to getting ahead?
Most non-Duke fans were incensed when Grayson Allen attempted to trip a basketball player that got by him during a game. What made the fans even madder was the idea that Coach K only suspended him for one game. To hear Kentucky fans talk about it, Coach K is the devil (no pun intended) who is single-handedly destroying college basketball. Allen's actions were immature and wrong, but did they warrant such hatred from college basketball fans?
Meanwhile, those same Kentucky fans who choose to vilify Coach K and his players, seem to be okay with the cheating allegations that have plagued John Calipari. Coach Cal has been found guilty of NCAA violations at every school he coached prior to getting the Kentucky job. His players have been guilty of larger infractions such as taking money from agents, cheating on college entrance exams and allowing player's family to travel with the team for free. His transgressions have cost schools NCAA sanctions and vacated victories. In fact, Calipari is the only coach to have victories vacated at more than one school. I guess Kentucky fans see tripping as a much bigger offense.
Now, before all of the Big Blue Nation rains down upon me, let me explain my point. I believe most of us have good hearts with the ability to separate right from wrong. Unfortunately, there are times when we throw all sense of ethics out the window. The word "fan" is short for fanatics. Die hard fans have a deep obsession with their team. All they want is for their team to win. That desire will cause fans to see things differently than most of us. A foul is only a foul when the other team commits it. The fix is only in when it keeps our team from winning.
The spirit of fairness holds true in the legal world as well. How times do we complain when the police give us a speeding ticket, but scream in frustration when they aren't there to catch that speed demon who's weaving in and out of traffic? We can't stand defense attorneys and their ability to manipulate the law in order to get shady individuals off UNTIL we need them to defend us. We scream out for the law to be fair and equitable, but is that really what we want? Maybe what we really want is for the law to work in our favor, whether we are right or wrong.
Sports are fun, but they are also a mirror of society. Morality and ethical lines have been skewed. Whether it's sports, politics, education or the work place, we have forgotten the need to call a spade a spade. If it's wrong, it's wrong. When we venture into situational ethics, no one wins. Most things that are gained unethically, won't last long. So cheer for your favorite team and have fun doing it, but don't lower your values in order to justify a win.
Most non-Duke fans were incensed when Grayson Allen attempted to trip a basketball player that got by him during a game. What made the fans even madder was the idea that Coach K only suspended him for one game. To hear Kentucky fans talk about it, Coach K is the devil (no pun intended) who is single-handedly destroying college basketball. Allen's actions were immature and wrong, but did they warrant such hatred from college basketball fans?
Meanwhile, those same Kentucky fans who choose to vilify Coach K and his players, seem to be okay with the cheating allegations that have plagued John Calipari. Coach Cal has been found guilty of NCAA violations at every school he coached prior to getting the Kentucky job. His players have been guilty of larger infractions such as taking money from agents, cheating on college entrance exams and allowing player's family to travel with the team for free. His transgressions have cost schools NCAA sanctions and vacated victories. In fact, Calipari is the only coach to have victories vacated at more than one school. I guess Kentucky fans see tripping as a much bigger offense.
Now, before all of the Big Blue Nation rains down upon me, let me explain my point. I believe most of us have good hearts with the ability to separate right from wrong. Unfortunately, there are times when we throw all sense of ethics out the window. The word "fan" is short for fanatics. Die hard fans have a deep obsession with their team. All they want is for their team to win. That desire will cause fans to see things differently than most of us. A foul is only a foul when the other team commits it. The fix is only in when it keeps our team from winning.
The spirit of fairness holds true in the legal world as well. How times do we complain when the police give us a speeding ticket, but scream in frustration when they aren't there to catch that speed demon who's weaving in and out of traffic? We can't stand defense attorneys and their ability to manipulate the law in order to get shady individuals off UNTIL we need them to defend us. We scream out for the law to be fair and equitable, but is that really what we want? Maybe what we really want is for the law to work in our favor, whether we are right or wrong.
Sports are fun, but they are also a mirror of society. Morality and ethical lines have been skewed. Whether it's sports, politics, education or the work place, we have forgotten the need to call a spade a spade. If it's wrong, it's wrong. When we venture into situational ethics, no one wins. Most things that are gained unethically, won't last long. So cheer for your favorite team and have fun doing it, but don't lower your values in order to justify a win.
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